I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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