So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
