i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
