Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize