But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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