I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
