i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
is that a dick in a sweater?
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