Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
