It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
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