Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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