He kissed a someone with a penis
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
