He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
