it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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