So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
