She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
