she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
