Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
