can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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