i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
