You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
