I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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