she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
