Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I am naked and annoyed.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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