i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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