even my farts smell like vagina
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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