there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
