Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
