The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
