i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
