I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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