please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
