My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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