Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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