I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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