I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
