haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Boobs speak an international language.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
