forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
