i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
