what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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