Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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