there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
