i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
