Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
