Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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