fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
