my mouth tastes like poor choices
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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