i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
