And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
