Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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