When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
