Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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