Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Randomize