did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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