I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
