The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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