She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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