toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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