She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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