im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it's like iHOP with fire
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
