So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
